I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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