i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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