allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize