Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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