We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He shit in the fireplace
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