Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pants are for mortals
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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