I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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