You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
