Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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