I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
