Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
