So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
