how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
