I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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