So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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