You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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