I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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