Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
