Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
