U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
