Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
