i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
