Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I could fuck to npr.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
