are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
