It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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