Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize