yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
