I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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