i already hear my dad disowning me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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