I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Even my vagina gasped.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't deserve a penis
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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