I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
