we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.