He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
