So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
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They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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