So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen