This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
