Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win