Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Nicole vs. Life

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  (302): Nicole vs. Life http://tfl.nu/qzfl
  Replies (16) Good night (696) Bad night (982)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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  (443): i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's http://tfl.nu/fnpd
  Replies (38) Good night (3397) Bad night (670)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  USA! USA! USA!

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  (262): i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic (414): USA! USA! USA! http://tfl.nu/meud
  Replies (34) Good night (4828) Bad night (925)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  That changes everything.

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  (360): I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy. (1-360): That changes everything. http://tfl.nu/pss9
  Replies (27) Good night (5101) Bad night (851)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her

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  (780): I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her http://tfl.nu/1b2q
  Replies (22) Good night (1115) Bad night (8281)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him

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  (401): and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him http://tfl.nu/atvr
  Replies (7) Good night (3130) Bad night (969)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."

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  (269): Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer." http://tfl.nu/35qp
  Replies (4) Good night (2488) Bad night (675)
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  (209): View more from California

  Show him your tits if he says no

  (1-209): View more from California

  They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.

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  (209): Show him your tits if he says no (1-209): They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits. http://tfl.nu/0j62
  Replies (8) Good night (2133) Bad night (989)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula

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  (702): Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems (702): I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula http://tfl.nu/2l23
  Replies (9) Good night (1321) Bad night (932)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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  (812): I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land http://tfl.nu/d4a5
  Replies (10) Good night (1294) Bad night (374)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god

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  (410): I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god http://tfl.nu/pepn
  Replies (7) Good night (886) Bad night (489)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.

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  (316): You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel. http://tfl.nu/ugfj
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (742)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!

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  (908): When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?! http://tfl.nu/arig
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (335)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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  (540): I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying... http://tfl.nu/wais
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (585)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?

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  (239): It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class? http://tfl.nu/6z5l
  Replies (17) Good night (337) Bad night (731)

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