Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
