Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
