okay pat passed out under dana's car
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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