He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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