her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
farters have to be the big spoon...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
