Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
