Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All the doctor said was why
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
