I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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