I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
