honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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