Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
