I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Drunk is not a location!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
