i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
