I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
