Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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