I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
