i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot