Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
