You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
