Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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