I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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