you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
