Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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