Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
