He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
In America we eat man semen.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
