She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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