NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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