Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
