Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize