I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
