This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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