This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
